Day Six - Distraction Technique

My how the body likes sleep. Getting up has become a progressively greater challenge. I suspect this will pass within a few weeks. A good note is that my legs were not as angry when I used them this morning. Other areas were still reporting in as usual.

My Father had a Doctor's appointment today and he was unable to go swimming with me. As the clock ticked away, my apprehension increased the closer I got to 2:30pm. By mid morning the beast of FEAR was screaming at me. It's funny how the loss of companionship can cause our fears to increase. I decided to just ignore the pessimist and pretend that my Dad was coming with me anyway. The trick worked, until I headed for the kitchen door and reality took control. My feet were already moving and I just followed along to see what happened next.

On my way to the pool I dropped off another NetFlix envelope. I'm actually sending those DVD's back faster now, because I pass the USPS every day. My "pending rentals" queue will empty out faster now. So I guess that is a good thing. It's a great deal.... wait a minnit, I'm not getting paid for this sales pitch so I'll get back to the subject at hand.

As I entered the facility I felt like the eyes were hard at work. I know it's probably all in my imagination. Just because I think people are looking at me, does not mean that they aren't. It may be in my head, but who really knows for sure. Wow what a mind trap. :)

When I neared the Men's dressing room a kind person was coming out. He wanted to talk so I paused. He mentioned reading my blog and we exchanged a few sentences. Then my mind went blank. I have a difficult time talking to people, especially face to face. I worry so much about what to say that my mind goes blank. So I smiled at him and moved into the dressing room. I think he wanted to keep talking but I was not sure what to say, and I had been on my feet for too long. The last thing I wanted to have happen was to collapse right in the middle of everything.

The pool was empty, I mean no one in sight, for about 2 minutes. Then a few others arrived. Today is Adults Only day so no children allowed. As I splashed back and forth I realized how much I like watching the youngn's swim and play. It provides a powerful distraction from the task at hand. When I was in the Hospital 20 years ago I participated in an in-house Pain Control Program that taught me the "distraction technique." Meaning that our minds can only focus on a few things at a time. To help reduce the perception of pain - add distractions. TV shows, games, anything that keeps the mind occupied. Without the distractions pain perception increases and a cycle of pain to sadness to more pain to more sadness develops.

While doing my swim routine I have been using these distraction techniques without even realizing it, until today, when the distractions were gone. Wow it was difficult to keep moving for a while, until I realized what was happening and I started focusing on other things. I had to get creative, I looked at rust on little nuts, water dropping from the ceiling, foam near the wall, anything that could occupy my attention for a while. To my delight the distraction were working so well that I didn't even want to get out when my hour had passed. I lasted an extra 8 minutes. Not much, but, it was 8 more minutes of blood pumping and body moving.

When I got home the easy chair looked wonderful. I wanted to sit down and start writing, but it was hard to get my head cleared. In fact, I found that I was feeling fairly crabby for the rest of the day. It was difficult to not let my pain do the talking when interacting with others. I messed up a few times and felt bad for coming across harshly. When it happens there is not much I can do than wait until I am in better control and make my apologies.

I am looking forward to getting wet again tomorrow. I can feel changes in my muscles. Nothing major, but the soreness is actually encouraging, it means that I have been using the little buggers and forcing them to work harder. Over time that will spell strength and increased physical activity.

What follows is a mini-vid of me getting ready to splash. Brooke was trying to help me take a few pictures but the camera was in video mode.

Day Two - Swimming

I survived the first day. Next morning, my eyes crack open and the brightness of day attacks my brain. AM I ever excited. I get to go swimming again! Then my body starts to stir. Creek, groan, grumble, ouch, my legs, arms, back, neck, head, and everything in between announces their desires - DON"T MOVE YOU SILLY PERSON.

Wow, am I sore. My pessimist mind suggests that today is not a good day for swimming. Millions of reasons flood my mind. Things like cardiac arrest, more pain than I can handle, inability to walk, stupidity of effort, etc. Then my positive mind interrupts - hey Miles, you made a promise. You said that you were going to swim one hour a day 5 - 6 time a week. That means you get a break on Sunday. Until then, you are mine Mister. Get up, empty your XXXXX, never mind. Get going for the day.

OK, OK, OK you win, I made the commitment, I'll keep it, until I either beat this porker body or I die trying. My pessimist mind intercedes with the thought, Hey, death might be nice right now. You will stop hurting. I don't want to think about that. I'll get up, do my morning stuff, and hit the pool around, what time? I dunno, gotta look at the schedule.


The morning proceeds fine, as long as I stay in the easy chair and try not to move. Finally the clock reaches the moment of truth. Before I can talk myself out of it, I get up (slowly) and stuff my roll away bag with my stuff. I head for the door and grumble, "I'm going swimming." I hear the echo's of "great job" and other words of encouragement from Dad & Ginny, which makes me blush and wish I had crawled out the back door instead. It was a relaxing drive to Island Athletic.

I park the car and start walking to the entrance.

It is difficult to walk into the building for three reasons.

1. My pain is higher because of the silly hour I spent just 24 hours a go.
2. I don't like going in public because I feel like everyone is staring at me.
3. When I look inside the entrance PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT ME.




Well, here comes the walrus, get out of my way or get ready to be bumped into. I'm tired, in pain and on a mission.

I grab the handle to the door and groan. It feels really heavy today. Is it in my mind or have they added a few hundred pounds to the hinges?



Now for the fun part. I get to exchange car keys for the locker key & some towels. For two years this type of interaction has been difficult for me. I'm not sure why, I have just found face to face people stuff uncomfortable. However, for the last week those fears seem to be minimized to a dull squeak in the back of my mind. I noticed this fear lessening about a week after I started taking those magic nutrition tablets that Dad & Ginny gave me.


I pass my keys, get the towels and lean on the counter. I now get to walk past all the skinny people as I head into the dressing room. What a joy, I can hardly wait for all those stares and silent "he should not eat so much" unspoken words. My positive mind interrupts and reminds me of what my Dad & Dick said (I'll introduce you to dick in a few weeks), "Miles, most of those people are probably amazed that you have the courage to be there and they admire you for taking the first step to health." I feel emotionally stronger and push off from the counter.




My legs are tired, I've got sit down soon. I briskly walk to the stall so I can change into my pup-tent.



The room is nearly empty. At least I get to change without the eyes on my back.



Get ready. I'm going to face my fears and show some photo's of me in my swim suit. This is nothing comfortable for me. So, if you ever see me IRL (In Real Life) please pretend that you never read my blog. Thanks, it will enable me to keep writing.


OK, Enough of these scary photo's.




I'll now go hide in the water.






So look as long as you want. I'm getting out of this room.









When I get to the swimming pool, I am surprised to find it empty. Oops, one person doing laps. GREAT, I have the pool all to my self. I make my way to the stairs and descend into the pool. I don't want to repeat the first day loss of footing experience.

Again I plan on doing laps, but the lap lanes are missing. The pool is one big open playground, just for me. I have a great day, bobbing up and down, going back and forth, splashing, kicking, blowing bubbles, making a party out of my gravity free time in the water.

I spent one hour and ten minutes in the water and then had to face gravity again. It is astonishing how heavy I feel as I slowly emerge from the water.

The end of my swim day had no surprises. It was difficult getting back to the car, I felt more tired today. By the time I got home, I was feeling the effects of the swim. I barely made it to the easy chair. I looked forward to going to bed at the end of the day.