Monday, March 17, 2008

Day 52 - Finally

 I have been working out, but, not blogging. On Day 39 I hurt my knee in the water. It was a combination of being in too shallow of water, and too cold of water. My muscles were not warm enough to take the strain and I hurt myself. It laid me up for a little over a week.

When I finally got my knee strong and healthy enough to work out, I went back to Island Athletic. Two days later, I got sick. That laid me out for another week. My throat was so sore I thought it was being used as a beach for bacteria. The entire planet's bugs must have been vacationing in my throat that week.

Monday, March 3rd was Day 42. It felt wonderful to be back in the routine. However, I discovered that my habit of getting out the door was only a memory. It was a struggle to get up each day and head to the facility. I think today is the first day that I actually wanted to hit the trail and workout. It appears that it takes a month to build a habit and only a few days to weaken it and only a week or two to lose it almost entirely. The nice thing is that I regained the habit within 2 weeks of consistency.

Something happened to me during the break. When I added a different management tool I discovered how many individual people had been looking at the Blog and it actually scared me. I had it in my mind that 2 or 3 people were creating most of the activity and a handful of others had peeked in once. When I realized that more than 200 people had visited the Blog in a short period of time, it made me feel very uncertain. I know that in internet terms, 200 visits is nothing to get excited about. But, for me, I felt like I had 200 people in the same room with me, looking over my shoulder while I write each entry. I was paralyzed by the thought.

There was a time, when I would have been excited and the numbers would have caused me to get even more people to check out my little health project. It is a somewhat new experience for me to be so reserved. I had an internal battle for many weeks before I finally worked up the confidence to write again. To be honest, I don't know why it is so fearful for me. I do know that for most people the fear of speaking is greater than their fear of death and second only to waking up naked in a hotel lobby. I've wrestled with my demons and come back swinging. I guess I can face writing one more time. I'll let tomorrow worry about it's self.