Day 13 - Saturday Fun

Well, well, well, I have almost made it over the hump. It takes a month to make something a habit and I am now looking at 13 days under my belt, so to speak. I don't usually wear a belt though, they don't flex enough to accommodate my ever changing fat formations. You may not know what I mean unless you have been as fat as me. Turn too fast and you just keep going with or without desire. I've got a question for you! How do you know you are getting too fat? Answer: when turning sideways no longer helps.

Friday night I went to bed early, Saturday I woke up late. It felt like I just could not get going. I worked out anyway, it was a struggle. When I got home all I wanted to do was sleep. By Sunday morning, I was coming down with a cold. Sore throat, ache all over, and eyes that feel like a sandy walk way. I felt like sleeping most of the day, so that is what I did.

My concern is that Monday is here and I don't want to lose my focus by staying home sick. I'm going to try and keep my commitment anyway. I expected to have obstacles when I started this health program. So this will be a little speed bump on my way to the highway of health.

I have been thinking about self destructive behavior. I find it interesting that as a general rule people tend to celebrate by being self destructive. Some like to party with Alcohol or drugs, others celebrate with desserts, even others reward their great success by becoming couch potatoes. I wonder why we tend to celebrate by intentionally doing things that will damage our bodies. It's like saying, hey body, you really helped me through that tough time so I'll reward you with even harder things to deal with. I'll spend the week end blowing away brain cells and you can work double time trying to rid my digestive tract with sludge.

I really is strange. Knowing that New Year resolutions are usually wishes that later become guilt, I will make a resolution to set no goals because of the turn of the year. However, since I am nearing the 1/2 way point for setting a new habit I will start a new goal. I will reward my self with good things in the future. When I accomplish, strive, or succeed, I will amply reward my body for helping me through the tough times. Forget chocolate pies, milk shakes, and week-ends on the sofa. Instead I'll spend an extra 30 minutes working out or doing something good for my body. It's the only one I have so I might as well help it as it helps me. That is my new goal.

Note: I'm not ready to give up ice cream, it's just too nummy. However, I will NOT use it as a reward. Does that mean I should punish myself by eating it? Nope, that seems even worse. I'll just eat it every once in a while for no special reason. Truth is I'm not really craving it and other sweets as much as I used to. I have lost my immense cravings because of the nutrient capsules that Dad & Ginny had me start taking. I have also noticed a better attitude and over all feeling of well being. I don't know what they are, I just know that for the first time in years I feel like I can actually accomplish something.



PS: Dad just called me and suggested that I not go work out today. He said that I should not stress my immune system so soon. I will concede to his wisdom, he is my Daddy after all. I'll spend the day blowing my nose till it's sore, resting or sleeping, and I'll cross my fingers about tomorrow.

I actually feel like I'm going to miss something. Wow, that is interesting, I am actually going to miss my workout. Which is a wonderful change of emotion compared to how I felt before I started this program. I felt guilt, relief from fear, and all round self loathing. I no longer feel the fear as strongly when I go to the facility. I don't know about the guilt yet. Self loathing, well, I'll not comment on that today.