Ever since my Blog entries for day 19 I have conveniently found reasons to delay making new ones. Yes, I did do my workout on Saturday - #20, and again on Monday - #21. However, I put off Blogging each day until night had fallen and I was saved by the bell - time to sleep. Each morning I woke with the intent of grabbing the keyboard and each night I felt the pangs of guilt and self disappointment.
What has caused this procrastination? What has led to my putting off typing a few sentences and hitting the enter key? Fear and dread! Pure and simple. I'm sure we have known people who are superstitious. You know what I am talking about. The baseball pitcher who makes specific movements before each pitch. The basketball player who never changes his favorite, albeit stinky, socks. To make it more personal, who has thrown salt over their shoulder after spilling some on the table. Or used the term "knock on wood."
Superstition can be caused by stories from family or individuals in our lives. We can also develop our own as we start to develop habits and feel like something is missing if the habitual behavior is interrupted. Some people can become overwhelmed by compulsive actions. There is another kind of superstition that is even more effective at controlling our lives. We can actually cause things to happen because we expect it to be. For example, some man decides that he is going to get fired, so he starts getting angry at his employer and within a few weeks his actions cause the eventual loss of a job.
I have been worried about my own life coming to disaster because I have reached the 30 - 60 day red zone. I talked about it in my Day 19 Blog. Ever since that entry I have felt dread and fear. I have been so worried that I have not been able to write in fear of making anything happen to cause me to fail. After my Day 19 workout my pain was substantially higher. I worked out on Saturday anyway and my pain did not reduce appreciably throughout that day. Sunday, I rested and my pain did go down a little. My spine, legs, head and neck have been on fire and dull of spasms on and off for almost a week.
By the time Monday rolled around I did notice a drop in my baseline discomfort. Working out did not help. Today is Tuesday. I woke and felt fairly good. Within 30 minutes my pain was almost unmanageable. I felt like sleeping most of the day. Dad & I went to the facility at 2:30pm and I started my normal routine. To my disappointment a child did a Technicolor Yawn into the pool and it had to be closed for cleaning and disinfecting. So we only got to put in 30 minutes of our 60 minute program.
I have decided that I will not allow those fears to control my actions. I am going to keep recording my experiences and simply proceed minute by minute. If my pain is higher I'll deal with it when it happens. I have confidence that at some point my body will reach a balance and things will improve. To my benefit I have a supporting environment at home and family members who understand that when my pain is high I just don't participate in light banter, I grumble and apologize later. I am grateful for their understanding which is enabling be to continue this program of working out 5-6 times a week.
I do have a positive thing to report. My father has been working out also. He has missed a few days here and there, so have I now that I think about it. He tells me that his knees are getting stronger and he actually is starting to notice a drop in pain and weakness. That is wonderful. It encourages me to know that he is seeing such wonderful benefits after less than two months of effort. I am looking forward to seeing what happens in another two months.
In talking to others I have learned that most people experience positive benefits within 30 - 60 days of starting an exercise program. In fact, most find that their energy levels are increased, endurance, strength, and overall health are improved. They get more things done, even though they have used up time working out. It's like a wonder drug, which make me chuckle. All these drug companies spending billions of dollars developing wonder drugs and this one is free. Yes it does take time and initial discomfort. But the side effects are amazing. With drugs there are always negative side effects. With exercise, the negative is in the beginning and the positive lasts as long as people keep up the activity.
When I got out of the pool I showered, did the sauna thing, dressed and headed back to the waters edge. I wanted to get a look at the bugger when no one was in it. There is something calming about a still swimming pool. It's not like looking at a campfire or sunset but it's peaceful to me. I even took a little video of the view for the benefit of my Blog.
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